Saturday, April 2, 2011

Feeling of Anticipation

I have a performance this evening.  Performance days are different from normal days in that there's a feeling of anticipation the whole day leading up to the event.  It'll still have all the elements of a normal day, I'll go to the gym, vocalize, eat prepared meals in my fridge, I'll read a few affirmations here and there, maybe do a writing exercise.  The difference for me on a day like today isn't the actions I take, it's the feelings I'm experiencing.  Certainly before the show there'll be a time for make-up and improv exercises to loosen me up, but in general it will be a day like the others.  The difference in today is the feeling of anticipation, the fact that every so often my heart will start racing and I'll need to tell myself it's going to be great in order to calm it down.

And the thing is, this shouldn't be the case.  If I was truly in my dream, if I truly could be the person everyone sees me as, then I would have this feeling of anticipation everyday.  It's all about the feeling.  Regardless of what is happening in my life now, I should be able to feel like everyday is going to be a chance to perform, a chance to do something new.  Sitting here this morning I now realize what challenge I have to take on for the next few days.

I encourage you to take some time in meditation and ask yourself, "how do I feel when I am in anticipation of something I really want to do, how do I feel that day I know I'm about to do it?"  Because that is the feeling you should feel everyday.  Maybe not the nervous part of it, but just that essence of "something wonderful is about to happen."  And if you can't remember a time when you felt that way, or if you feel that there's nothing in your life to come about that you would be excited for, maybe it is time you did some dream building.  What is it you would love to happen in your life and how would that make you feel?  Find that feeling and see if you can relocate it for even a few minutes a day.  Your hope will keep your life moving forward.

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