Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The 2nd Part of the Golden Rule

Many of us had heard the classic phrase: "Treat others as you would like to be treated," and for most part we make an effort to practice such.  We give our attention to others with the personality we would want to be presented to us.  A smile for a smile, a compliment for a compliment.
This is only half the process of becoming one's true self, the other half of the golden rule I read for the first time at the end of chapter 14 of Wallace Wattles' The Science of Getting Rich: "What I want for myself, I want for everybody."
Now one may wonder, "Why would I want for others what I want for myself?  Surely there are things I want that would not be wanted by other people, like if I want a pink sweater surely the old man on the street corner doesn't want a pink cardigan?"  The truth is, this statement doesn't apply necessarily to specific things, but rather to the idea of "that which I desire" being more so a "to be" concept. 
An example, "I want to be wealthy, living in a warm home, and able to afford any luxury I desire."  Apply the golden rule to this.  How does it feel to say "I want everyone to be wealthy, living in warm homes, and able to afford any luxury they desire?"  It can't possibly feel anything but good.  Imagine everyone in the world being of a wealth where they can live comfortably.  Indeed, it would be the start of world peace if the competition to survive was wiped away.
It's similar to giving a friend a gift that you yourself wanted and seeing their face light up as they open the package.  You feel like you have done some good giving someone you love something that you desired.  Not allowed dolls of my own, I one time bought my sister a barbie outfit that I saw in the store that I wanted, and although there was a little jealousy in watching her receive it, the majority of my feeling was of happiness knowing she enjoyed getting it.
Sometimes the things we want feel so out of reach we take an iron grip on them and go crazy wishing and wanting for them, and feel devastated day after day in their absence.  When this happens, practice the golden rule.  Picture yourself receiving what you want.  Then, picture someone you love receiving what you want.  Then extend it, imagine everyone receiving what you want, even the ones you despise (everyone means everyone, do not judge anyone as less than worthy of receiving something you want, for we are all one and the same, and by denying them the riches you are saying you don't deserve it either).  Practice this with everything, even the things you have that you hold dear.  If you have a favorite outfit, imagine everyone getting the opportunity to wear their favorite outfit too.  By doing this practice you develop a sense of compassion and generosity in you, and that sense will increase your own sense of generosity, and as we know, generous people receive that which they strive for.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Paradigm Busting

We are not our past, we are not our memories, and yet we have a tendency to cling to what we've done or experienced and say that is us.  We say if the thought of joining in a group of children when we were young frightened us, that it is logical that it still frightens us today to walk into a bar or social event and engage the people there. 
We make choices though, as to what we hold onto as adults that we experienced as children.  If a program on television or a movie had a character who scared us, we're not necessarily going to be scared of that character at age 30 when we see it again.
What is it, that makes some memories stick to our subconscious and drive us to insecurities as adults?  The answer lies in the opposite, why some situations and things don't affect us as adults is because of our reasoning mind.  Our reasoning mind tells us what should be good and what should be bad.  It's not that anything is specifically good or bad by definition, but our reasoning mind tells us what is good or bad for us according to what makes us feel safer.  It also tells us how to react to things when they occur repeatedly.  We often call these things paradigms: our reactions to stimuli on a daily basis, habitual patterns.  For example, one of my paradigms is that I cannot walk into any social gathering without feeling anxious and the need to run out.  I wasn't born with this instinct, it was developed over years of exposure to crowded rooms of strangers where I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing when I entered the room.  However, I have found that it is just a matter of adjustment to my surroundings.  The first time I went to any of the gyms I joined I had the same issue, but when I started going to that gym on a repeated basis, and had routines to do there, I found that no matter how crowded the gym was it did not bother me.
I was able to use my reasoning mind to realize that when I had a purpose, plan, and familiarity with the situation, my paradigm didn't exist.  I've experimented with this theory, that if something I am normally fearful of comes to me, that if I reason what my intention is in this situation, that if I can make myself a plan during the experience, that fear if not entirely goes away, lessons to a great extent.
Use your reasoning mind to bust your paradigms.  There's no reason for your to fear anything, nor assume certain tasks are impossible when you know you need to do them.  It's a matter of perception, and we all know, overcoming a fear feels so good.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Setting Your Intentions for the Day

Blessed be all in this wonderful new year ^_^.  Now that we are coming into new days where everyone is wishing another good tidings, here's a great tip for truly putting forth the effort to make each day a good day.  Some people call it "setting your intention" for the day, others call it a "to be" list.  It takes about five minutes and you just need a piece of paper and pencil.  Each morning make a list of 3-5 things you intend to be that day, and write them as if they are happening right now.  I use the "to be" list method, so at the top of the paper I write "To Be List.  Today I am..." and then under that I make my list.  Specifically, today I wrote, "1. a person of increase in all of my affairs.  2. friendly and welcoming to those I come in contact with.  3. open to new ideas from a higher power regarding my next move.  and 4. able to see the positive in every situation."  Done over time, not only will this feel as routine for you as brushing your teeth in the morning, but you will actually begin to "be" that person whom you are saying you will be.  And you'll feel better too, setting positive intentions at the start of the day will subconsciously if done repeatedly begin to manifest itself in your attitudes all day long.  Things that once sent you into anger or sadness will not be as heavy on your heart, you may be able to pass them by entirely.  There's no proven time span for when this will start to take shape, but I can tell you for me I've been doing it for over half a year almost every morning, and I started to feel the shift in my daily attitude around the third month.  I've also noticed the day just doesn't feel right when I don't make a list that morning.  Try it for a few months and see what happens.