Sunday, December 18, 2011

Comprehending Judgment

I thought I would take a moment to address the subject of appearance.  Most of us know the way we look is based on subjective interpretation.  To say we look good or bad is based on our perception of what particularly looks good or bad.  For example if you think heaviness is unattractive, then anytime you feel you are of a heavy stature in comparison to another, you are going to feel that you do not look good.  Likewise if you see another who is heavy-set, you are going to think that person does not look good.

What fascinates me about perception is that if you perceive someone in a negative way, that negative emotion doesn't necessarily affect him or her, but it always affects you.  Our minds are programmed in such a way that hearing negative things, whether directed at ourselves or others, will result in feeling negative.  When you say someone else is ugly your subconscious hears it as if you feel you are ugly.  The proof in this is how we feel after we express a negative opinion.  Try sitting in negative statements for a few minutes and then take a moment to check in on how you feel.  Go through a fashion or gossip magazine, for example, and state all the negative opinions you can about the models and celebrities.  Then check in with yourself, how do you feel?  Something doesn't feel quite right, no? 

We are all one and the same, we are all human with bodies, hearts, skin.  We all on some level want to love and be loved.  We want to avoid feeling pain and bathe in joy, whatever each of those may be for you or for me may be different, but nevertheless each at its core is the same, everything is for the sake of pleasure or pain. 

If we are all one and the same, what you want for yourself should be what you want for everyone else.  That's not always the case though.  We walk around day after day judging everyone who passes our way.  This person is fat, her shoes are hideous, his outfit looks like he just pulled it out of a trash can.  These are all things we say to ourselves or similar to people who pass us by, whether in person, on a computer screen, or on the television.  The question is why?  Why do we have a need to observe that someone is the way they are in comparison to us or another we're seeing as the standard? Just as we decide how we ourselves look, we are hoping everyone will look a certain way for our pleasure.  It's a defense mechanism: when everyone looks a way to our liking we feel safe.  But the truth is, you nor I can control the way anyone looks.  We can look the way we want to, but never is everyone going to look a certain way for our security.

What if you could accept love in all of its shapes and forms regardless of the packages it came in?  Meaning, what if you could see everyone as simply a being of love and nothing more or less?  In this sense there is no need to say someone is fat or thin, muscular, or flabby, even secure or insecure, we're all simply beings on a quest to find and give love.  Everyone is simply appearing in a way they've chosen.  I'm not talking about romantic love when I say love, I'm simply referring to the offering of and exchange of attention.

It's a wonderful thing to love and be loved.  Even the little things, someone drops a paper and you pick it up for them, when they say thank you you can feel their love.  Whenever you start to form an opinion of yourself or others, pause for a moment and simply remind yourself that we are all beings of love.  How are you expressing love?  How is this other person trying to express love?  The answers to these will help you cease the need to judge, and little by little, everyone you meet will have something wonderful to give you.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Perception in Circumstances

Today it is raining in Los Angeles.  There was a time when I couldn't handle the rain.  On rainy days I would shut down.  I became angry, irritable, and overall just too tired to accomplish anything.  Everything I ate on rainy days always upset my stomach.  I hated going outside on rainy days because it was so uncomfortable to walk back into the house or get into the car all wet and with dirty shoes.  They say there are people who are addicted to sunlight, that when the sun is not out they fall apart emotionally.  For a while I thought I was indeed one of them.

Although today it is raining, I do not mind it so much.  I used to try to reason with myself, saying that a day is a day, and just because the sun isn't out doesn't mean today is any different from another.  And yet, I could not use substitution, I couldn't break the fact that the weather just made me feel awful.  I couldn't pretend today was just like any other day.  The reason now I don't mind rainy days so much is because instead of focusing on what I hated about them, or what rainy days lacked in comparison to sunny days, I now focus on what's good about them.  Rain and clouds are a like a barrier the sky puts up between ourselves and the sun, and the need for that barrier is so we can see the day differently.  Rainy days are a time for reflection, if the rain is out we stay indoors; it's a metaphor: to go inside means to look inside.  In other words, rainy days can be used as a time for reflection.  Although I still dislike going out in the rain and getting wet, I find it quite wonderful to stare out a window and watch the rain fall.  I find it inspiring.  It gets me thinking on a deeper level about what I have been going through lately, and so I truly believe that is the beauty behind a rainy day. 

The beauty behind a rainy day.  Essentially that is what we need to do for everything and every person that we dislike.  By finding what is beautiful about this thing or person, we come to understand its purpose in our lives.  Any sense of hate for these things if not right away, gradually fades when we consider what in fact is beautiful or even wonderful about the circumstances we are facing.  This is true of ourselves as well: when we can see parts of ourselves we once saw as ugly or undesired now as beautiful and essential to our existence, we can let go of the negativity we once had.  For example, it used to frustrate me that I was too short to be a model.  Rejection after rejection from agencies because of my height made me furious.  Eventually I admitted I can't do anything about how tall I am, so I needed to surrender.  So I asked, "what is good about my body?"  The truth is, I am just the right height for the platform heels I perform in because I'm at a height where it looks natural on camera.  At the same time I also know from modeling for drawing workshops that if you measure my body from head to toe, I have near perfect textbook proportions in relation to the measurements one does when drawing or painting with the pencil.  Seeing that I am perfect at the height I am for those reasons, I now fully appreciate my stature.

It's all about perception.  How you see the situation you're in determines whether you have a positive or negative experience with it.  So learn to see the good in what you're going through, not only is it simple, it's the best thing you really can do.

Friday, December 9, 2011


Most people know what affirmations are, those little phrases that are like words of wisdom.  They encourage us to be better people.  Examples include "I am happy and grateful for all that I have, and all that is on the way," or "Everyday in every way, I'm getting better and better," or "I am one with Spirit, and in Spirit all things are possible." 
It's knowing how to use them that can be tricky.  You may have one you live by, but on some level may feel it's simply words, they have no real power.  That is true, words you do not make use of have no power because they have no emotion attached to them.  Think of how a person's angry words effect you when they shout them at you.  You may even feel the fear from those words all the way to your gut.  You can feel the emotion behind those words.  Although that's a case of negative submission rather than positive affirmation, the emotion behind the words is what is emphasized.  Another example of word power is when you tell someone you love them.  Telling someone you see everyday you love them, such as a parent, usually doesn't have the same feeling power for you as telling someone you're romantically involved with that you love them for the first time.  The latter may make you sweat with nervousness, and if that reciprocates a wave of excitement may come over you.
The reason we say affirmations is to encourage us, to make us feel good, but their real power comes from the absorption into our subconscious of the word's meaning, for when our subconscious takes in the meaning of them our lives will reflect them.  If you are able to absorb the words "Everyday in every way, I'm getting better and better" into your subconscious, your life indeed will start to improve bit by bit because you have turned your focus to these words and your subconscious truly believes them.  Now sometimes it's hard to attach emotion to such words, we can indeed bring up images of our life improving as we say the words, but that may or may not give us enough energy to bring the words into our psyche.  There are two ways for our subconscious to take in things we pay attention to, either through intense emotion or repetition.  Affirmations work best with the latter.  Dr Emile Coue came up with the affirmation "Everyday in every way, I'm getting better and better" for his patients and believed these words could heal any physical or mental ailment they had.  He prescribed them to take a chord with 21 knots in it, and three times a day while holding the chord and pulling it through their fingers, they were to say the affirmation each time they got to a knot while visualizing the circumstance improving.  I can say from experience that this exercise does indeed work if you work it, but indeed it does take discipline remembering to both do it three times a day as well as stay connected to the words using visualization each time.
Coue's method might not work for everyone, but what will work is if you work your affirmations.  Say them frequently, remind yourself of the words not only when clouds are gray, but when the sun is shining too.  Say them when you wake up in the morning, before eating a meal, after coming home, or everytime you get into a car.  Affirmations work if you work them.  It may take a little practice, but so did a lot of things in your life, remember what it was like to learn how to walk ;).

Monday, December 5, 2011

Being a Person of Increase

There is a phrase known as being "a person of increase" in many spiritual books.  I first saw this term in Wallace Wattles's The Science of Getting Rich.  The term means being a person who expresses the idea that they are increasing in abundance in everything they do.  Every activity is done in the spirit that it will lead to the increase of abundance in that person's life.  A drugstore employee who treats all customers as if they are millionaires handing him 1000 dollar bills for his services is a person of increase, because even the man who buys a pack of gum from this employee is given the respect that a millionaire is given.  A person of increase will also take the opportunities offered to him even if they see too difficult to accomplish on his own, because he knows by accomplishing the goals in those opportunities he will reach a new level of abundance in his daily life.  A person of increase is someone who knows the more abundance he gives to others, whether that be attention to what another has to say, or lending money to a friend, or helping a stranger carry a heavy load, the more abundance he will receive in return.  Every morning one of the things I write down in my list of things I want to be that day is a person of increase.  Whenever I am puzzled as to a decision I should make, I ask myself, "as a person of increase, how would I handle this situation?" and the answer comes to me.  I encourage you all to try this and see if your life improves at all.  Tell yourself you are a person of increase everyday, and see if the choices you make reflect that title.  It could very well be the answer to lack you have been looking for.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Want Energy

Everything has energy.  It goes back to that science class in high school where you learned the chair you're sitting in is made up of molecules moving so slow that they form what we see as solid matter.  But it's more than that.  When gurus refer to things having energy or vibrations, they also mean feelings.  The chair has feelings *_*?  Indeed, your chair has a feeling tone it gives off.  How do you feel when you have a seat in that chair?  Do you feel comfortable, uncomfortable, agitated, not particularly interested?  These are the emotions the chair gives you when you sit in it.  It's like when you see a cute puppy.  What is the energy the puppy is giving off?  The energy is "love me!"  And in turn we feel compassion for that puppy.

We as people express that same energy but we are not always as brave as the puppy.  We don't wag our tails rapidly when we see someone we want love from, but we do act at a level above a normal calm.  It's destructive sometimes to ourselves to give off that energy too powerfully.  We see it in the night clubs where people get drunk and plead for others they find attractive to take them home for loveless sexual acts.  We see it on the television where the politician dresses in expensive suits and gets a make-over so that he'll look presentable and people will buy whatever he's selling.  Unsure if the love from these people is real he goes and orders hookers to satisfy his yearning for love not quite given by winning strangers' trust.  I once met a man who told me he orders escorts online, and when they arrive his goal is to seduce them sexually to the point that they tell him they don't need to be paid for their time.  He said he feels empowered "out-smarting" the hard working escort, and he rationalizes that he isn't hiring escorts if he doesn't pay them.  It would not surprise me if someone once made this man feel he was unworthy of the love he begs for from others.

We're not puppies, we're adult or on our way to adulthood human beings.  There's no need for us to behave like animals when we have so many more skills.  So the question is, do you want to stay in a place where you're constantly saying "Love me!  I need love!" for the rest of your life?  It is doubtful, because feeling as if you want something you don't have isn't the way to live.  If you want bread you go out and buy it.  You no longer yearn for bread when you have figured out how to get it and then obtain it.  Not only that, but knowing how to get the bread the wanting energy for it is a lot less than the wanting you feel for love.  Think of it this way, when you know how to get something you want, you don't try relentlessly to get it, you just go get it, knowing bread is within your reach.  Love is as abundant as bread in our culture, but we tend to think it's hard to get because so many withhold thier own love.  What would it feel like to get love knowing you are loved, knowing you are capable of loving and being loved when you go out to get love?  It starts from within.  People who feel loved don't abuse themselves, and people who are loving don't abuse others either.  If such is the case, the one who goes out feeling loved and is loving will acheive love because s/he knows it is perfectly natural to acheive love as it is to buy a loaf of bread.

So I encourage you to try it if you are feeling lonely or insecure: give love to yourself by admitting you are capable of being loved, and in the theory that we are all one and the same, admit to yourself that everyone else is capable of being loved, and as such treat them with love.  See with practice over time if you start to see loving people come easier into your life.  The love of your life maybe just around the corner, but if you don't feel loving energy for yourself and others, that person is just going to pass you by.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Welcoming Change

Welcome back everyone ^_^.  Yes, indeed this is the third time I have changed my blog url and title, but do not fret, the third time's the charm *_*.  The new title is the current project I am working on.  I'm writing an ebook about how to get in touch with your true self and find inner peace in this ever chaotic world.  I was inspired to write this book because of you.  I've been going through a lot of changes myself this past year, and I've watched my closest friends remain the same, and it's led me to wonder why some people change and why some always seem to repeat their lives again and again every year.  I myself have been living in sort of safe pattern of things for a few years and it was not until everything started going to crap did I realize my world was changing, and I needed to change with it.

I was talking to my mother on the phone yesterday and I mentioned to her that she needed to visualize a better world for herself, that a lot of her anxiety came from the fact that she was looking at circumstances and focusing on the problem.  I asked her to describe the ideal situation, and at that point she had had it.  She burst out yelling at me, saying that she could sit there and think about good things all day long but there was no practicality in that, that wanting a better situation was not going to change anything, that what was needed was simple responsibility on my part.  As she said these words the voice in my head said to me, "you can't help someone who doesn't believe in your belief."

I realized we were not on the same wavelength, and instead of giving her what she wanted (which was an argument, my mother's go to paradigm when she's stressed out) I simply just let her talk (although I was also going to my same paradigm of falling silent when someone tries to start a fight with me, so I was no better).  The thing is, you can't change another's perspective.  Neither of us at the moment were recognizing the validity of the other's argument, but I did indeed learn at that moment that no matter how much spiritual work I had been doing to help my own self, I could not use that work to help her if she didn't want that help.  She also could not help me become irritated and worried about the situation like she was, so I was equally resisting her help; on some level we both were aware the other's help was not welcome.  We left it at that, but what I think is important in this example is how even though both arguments could have been validated in our minds, each argument was flawed in the mind of the other.

Being right is subjective, the right answer for each person is based upon what s/he holds as priority.  Sometimes this takes a little bit of compromise if the relationship is close.  Other times, like this one, distance has its advantages.  If someone wants to change your perspective on something, his/her argument is only as effective as your ability to be willing to change your own point of view.  And if your old view is now no less incorrect for you than his/her argument, then certainly there is a third option, this option is the form change presents itself in.

In this case the third option was simply I have to respect that the people around me don't want to change in the way they see the world even if I do.  It doesn't make me any better than that person, but it does make me feel better; it's like letting go of a heavy dumbell.  Realizing you're changing while someone really close to you stays the same and being okay with that is a step in the right direction, for you relieve yourself of the challenge by letting it go.  Having power over others is tough, but having power over your own thoughts and actions is just about the easiest thing anyone can do.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Living in lack

Hello Friends,
I have not written in a long time due to simply not being able to think of anything to write.  I know that sounds funny; surely though we all reach a period in our lives when we feel like we can't do something and need to step away from it.
This evening I felt inspired to write again.  You see, like many people out there I struggle with feeling whether things in my life are working out.  Most recently I have felt that way about my career.  I haven't had the best luck with people I've hired and had to let them go, and on top of that I've considered returning to some unconventional means for survival that have brought security just as much as insecurity in the past.  My heart has felt heavy and indecisive.  I even thought I could become Mr CSW Leather, when in truth I'm not the least into sadomasochism and feel uncomfortable in leather pants.  I could not have been more unfit for the role.  The reason I ran, because I was told the position has a lot of pr behind it and granted access to high-end gay events I could never attend simply as Sir JET, existing the way I am now.
You see, there are so many things I try out of struggle, out of stress, and out of bad, though well-intentioned, advice from friends and family that I often end up with nothing.  The reason though is not that I am stupid, it is rather, I'm afraid sometimes to trust my own gut and simply walk away from these people and offers.  I sometimes get so afraid to say "no" because I am so afraid if I don't try it I am going to regret it.  The truth is though, that should not be the case.  Never has a spiritual adviser said one should walk away from their gut feelings.  In fact, your very best guidance is always that which your intuition is telling you to do.
I went to the grocery store today.  I walk to my grocery store.  On my way there a man started following me.  He looked haggard and I assumed he was following me because he was going to ask me for money.  Instead he asked me if I worked out.  I said yes, smiled, and continued walking.  He followed me into the store and after I grabbed my cart and started on my way, he stopped me again and asked if I was into men.  Without even thinking about it I said no and started to move away.  He asked me for my name.  I told him my name, he told me his and held out his hand, but for some strange reason my hands stayed on my cart.  I smiled again and said "cheers," and walked away.  The thing is, I get hit on by various people of all genders and walks of life quite often; but for some reason the voice in my head was screaming for me to run.  I cannot say why, but there was something about that man and that situation that I just could not be cordial about.  That was the first time in my life someone held out their hand for me to shake and I didn't oblige.  I'll never know why I was so rude to that man; when we are overcome by fear we do strange things.
Why do I bring up these two unrelated things?  The reason is that I was thinking about these situations and about two hours ago it hit me: being in a state of unloving is what attracted all these circumstances.  When you neglect yourself, you attract people who don't like themselves and situations where you feel out of place because they feed off that need for attention you're giving off.  The solution: don't neglect yourself.  If you feel like things are going in the wrong direction, don't keep moving forward, take a moment to check yourself.  Ask yourself, "where am I now?" and "where do I want to be?"  If you're getting two different answers you're not aligned with your best interests.  I read a quote today that really inspired me, from Marianne Williamson via Arielle Ford: "the only thing that can be missing in any situation is that which you are not giving."  If you feel like something is lacking in your life, it may be because you're not giving to yourself and others in that area, may it be love, money, energy.  My best advice, be good to yourself and the ones you love, otherwise the lack of love you have for yourself is going to show up in many awkward ways in your life.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Story behind Feelin Dirty

Now that the video has been released online, I thought I would share the story behind my new song, "Feelin Dirty."  The story begins with my first meeting with Scott Anderson about one year ago.  Scott explained to me he wanted to create a song for me that was a vision of how he saw me in song. 

What's interesting about this point is that we don't always see ourselves the same way others do.  Although I'm aware men and women see me as attractive, I never really think of myself as sexy or sensual.  I grew up with a lot of shame of my sexuality, and it didn't help that when I finally started to explore my own sexuality through nude modeling that I found out that society frowned upon the act.  When I looked at myself, I saw the same being I saw when I was 17, or even 11.  I simply saw myself and my existence.  I didn't see a life of the party or a sexual being.  On top of that, the negative reaction I received from "Storm" made me want to put my clothes back on, so to speak.  I was afraid to be shirtless in any form of publicity.  Nevertheless, challenging myself is a forte of mine.

When Scott handed me the lyrics, I nearly fell over in my chair.  I did not think I could sing these things, it was so pop, and I was so not.  I was a hermit who had an acute phobia of crowded rooms like in bars and nightclubs.  The recording process was just as much as a struggle.  He asked me to use parts of my voice I've never explored, softer more sensual tones.  At first I couldn't quite get it right.  I wanted to go back into my baritone or fake it with falsetto.  Eventually I got the hang of it.  What Scott doesn't know was that the way I channeled that voice with those specific emotions the song needed in those moments was by touching myself when he his back was turned.

The first time I performed the song I had some difficulty.  I was nervous on that giant stage at LA Pride, plus I had four dancers and Amanda AbunDANCE on stage with me.  I wasn't use to that, let alone performing with a cordless mic.  I practiced and practiced, but I never really could get the hang of the song when I performed it.  I felt detached still from it.  I wasn't connecting with the lyrics.

It wasn't until I really sat with the song and asked myself, "what feels dirty?  what makes me feel sexy when I sing this song?"  that I started to break down what was blocking me from enjoying this song.  That was where my good friend, Victor, came into play.  He designed costumes for me that challenged my own sensibility, he had a collection of size 12 women's stiletto heels and stockings he let me sample.  It was through just challenging my limits and allowing myself to try on these different "personas" in these wacky costumes that I started to feel a little dirty, I felt like I could feel what I was singing about.  I saw the dynamic, center of attention alpha male Scott had written about.  You see, the alpha male for me is a man that is so in touch with himself and his emotions, that no matter what he wears he always is himself, and whatever he wears is simply an expression of the emotion he is feeling at the moment.

The process was not over yet though.  When it came time to shoot a video for the song, originally we were going to explore the costume fetish and situations I could be put in that would shock people.  It was the director, Bruno's, vision that we create a video that was inspired by one of his favorite adult coffee table books.  However, when we hired Evan to come up with a storyboard, all the previous concepts were vetoed, and this new concept was formed where I would pretty much be nude the whole video.  At first I was troubled because just as I had grown into this new concept of flashy outfits, I now had to take them all away.  I realized after reading the treatment a few times that, it was still the same concept, I was still the alpha male, but I was now so comfortable in my skin that I needed nothing at all to express myself.

The question was still asked, why are filming a video of intertwined boudoir scenes if the song was about someone who is the center of attention of a party?  The answer is we were trying to capture the essence of what a party is based on: love.  Parties are based on people coming together to have a good time, to free themselves, and in that sense, acts of love are just that, instances where we free ourselves.  When we make love with someone we are into, we let go of all of our inhibitions and live in the moment, the same way dancing on the dance floor with all your friends is liberating.  The video displays the intimate side of partying: scenes of boding love.

That is the story behind the song.  This was not just another song for me.  It was a journey where I learned a great deal about myself, and I am so grateful I took that chance.  What sort of things are you thinking about that challenge your image of yourself?  You might want to try them on for size sometime.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Feeling of Anticipation

I have a performance this evening.  Performance days are different from normal days in that there's a feeling of anticipation the whole day leading up to the event.  It'll still have all the elements of a normal day, I'll go to the gym, vocalize, eat prepared meals in my fridge, I'll read a few affirmations here and there, maybe do a writing exercise.  The difference for me on a day like today isn't the actions I take, it's the feelings I'm experiencing.  Certainly before the show there'll be a time for make-up and improv exercises to loosen me up, but in general it will be a day like the others.  The difference in today is the feeling of anticipation, the fact that every so often my heart will start racing and I'll need to tell myself it's going to be great in order to calm it down.

And the thing is, this shouldn't be the case.  If I was truly in my dream, if I truly could be the person everyone sees me as, then I would have this feeling of anticipation everyday.  It's all about the feeling.  Regardless of what is happening in my life now, I should be able to feel like everyday is going to be a chance to perform, a chance to do something new.  Sitting here this morning I now realize what challenge I have to take on for the next few days.

I encourage you to take some time in meditation and ask yourself, "how do I feel when I am in anticipation of something I really want to do, how do I feel that day I know I'm about to do it?"  Because that is the feeling you should feel everyday.  Maybe not the nervous part of it, but just that essence of "something wonderful is about to happen."  And if you can't remember a time when you felt that way, or if you feel that there's nothing in your life to come about that you would be excited for, maybe it is time you did some dream building.  What is it you would love to happen in your life and how would that make you feel?  Find that feeling and see if you can relocate it for even a few minutes a day.  Your hope will keep your life moving forward.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Did You See Mary's Videos? There’s More!


Have you heard about this open call?

Mary Morrissey, expert on the Spiritual Side of Success, is hosting an open Dream Builder Teleclass for FREE entitled: “3 Simple Secrets to Discovering and Living Your Dreams … No Matter How Out of Reach They Seem Right Now” on March 31, 2011 at 6:00pm pacific.

Here’s the link to reserve your space: Dream Building Teleclass

PLUS, once you sign up you’ll get complete access to her NEW 3-part video series that EVERYONE’S been talking about. In the videos, Mary explains how you can define your own dream, create new, higher set points and then live a life you love, daily.

After you watch the videos, you’ll then want to make sure you’re on the call so you can learn the exact strategies and mindsets she's employed to overcome significant failure as well as create significant success. These strategies and mindsets work for anyone, no matter where you are in your life.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

    * Simple thinking-strategies that will guard you from fear, doubt and worry (3 types of thinking that can stop your dream in its tracks).
    * The 3 steps most people miss when building a dream (miss any of these and you may never see your dream come true).
    * The Number One factor that causes people to lose steam when going after a dream, and how to stay motivated and override it.
    * A proven strategy for building lasting faith, self-love and confidence – which will guide you toward your dream.
    * The 1 critical thing you must give up in order to reach your dream.
    * An easy way to keep mentally and spiritually motivated each day.
    * And much more.

Here’s that link again to reserve your spot on this complimentary call and to get in on Mary’s powerful new video series. Dream Building Teleclass

To Your Best Life,
Joel Evan Tye

P.S. As you’ve probably experienced, laying the foundation for, and starting to build, your dream can be easier said than done. Let Mary walk you through her proven system for laying the groundwork so all your hard work pays off. Here’s that link again: Dream Building Teleclass

P.P.S. I suggest reserving your spot even if you’re not sure you can make the live call. Mary will give you access to the recording (which will provide timeless value as you embark on any dream-building journey) and you’ll ALSO get in on her entire 3-part video series – which is only available to people who opt in. That means this is your only opportunity to watch the series, which is chock-full of information you can use today to begin your dream-building journey. Dream Building Teleclass

P.P.S.  The preview call and NEW VIDEO TRAINING SERIES is free and there is no cost or obligation, but you should know I am an affiliate of Mary's, which means I believe in what she’s doing and I am a graduate of her program.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

How do you wake up?

The last time I fell asleep with confidence knowing that tomorrow was going to be great day was the night before I shot my last music video.  And I realize sitting here, that that shouldn't be the case.  All too often we forget that the fortune we're hoping for will not come if we are not preparing ourselves for it.  I need to spend more time feeling like tomorrow is going to be a good day before it comes or else I am bound to repeat the anxiety I often feel upon waking, which in turn sets my day up for failure.

Brian Tracy speaks of telling ourselves every night before we go to bed "I wake up every morning feeling terrific," and with repetition our sub-conscious will pick up on this vibe and we will begin to feel refreshed every morning.  Deepak Chopra recommends before we drift off to sleep, we should replay the entire day in our head, and at the end of our thought, we should say because the day has now ended, any attachment we may feel towards any of today's happenings has now been lifted and our minds are cleared in preparation for the following day.

Whatever method you choose, find a way for yourself to look forward to the day that is to come.  Too much time dwindling in the past or anything stressful in the present will produce repeated results.  If we are to break free of negative occurrences the first place that needs to start is in our thoughts.  What I have started to do, and little by little I'm seeing results, is I escape to my dream every night.  What that means is I write out my dreams in the present tense, or I look over and read aloud sentences that I've written on notecards several times while envisioning the action taking place, sentences like "I earn money easily," or, "I have the money for anything I want, and the money to help others."  This way I am put in a better place the night before.  See what you can do to make your next days, the best days.

I love this woman:) part 3 video now up!

Here's the bad news.
You can do everything right. You can have a great dream and
know deep down inside this is THE life you want to live. You can aspire, think
about, want, and wish for a dream…
But never experience that dream.
So how do you change that?
In the third and final video in Mary's new, free, 3-video
series, I explain exactly how to do just that.

The third video, “The Art and Science of Receiving,” will
help you access the universal law of receiving (yes, it’s a law, so it always
works) so you can experience your dream, finally!

“The Law of Receiving” may sound a bit daunting, or maybe
even too abstract to work. But the fact is, it DOES exist, and once you’ve
mastered it, you can and will receive anything you want.

Video 3 reveals how you can harness that law and put it to
work for yourself – and receive the dream you so desire.

Remember, the series is absolutely free – it’s my gift to
you because it’s my passion to help individuals like you achieve their dreams.

Ready to put yourself in harmony with your dream and change
your life? Click here to do so and receive immediate access to the third video: The Art and Science of Receiving click here

Here’s to your dream – it’s waiting,

Joel Evan Tye

P.S. Feel free to invite your friends, too, but be sure to
sign up, first! The Art and Science of Receiving click here

Friday, March 25, 2011

Playing with dolls

Some of my dearest friends know little things about me that noone else does.  One of those quirky things is that I used to be obsessed with dolls.  I became wrapped up in the world of Japanese anime and fashion dolls from 2007-2009.  I was living with my parents and had become rather depressed.  Depression can sometimes lead us to become obsessed with things we wouldn't normally consider.  During the time that I was working on the release of "I'll Keep Smiling," and "Embracing the Light... and then some," I had to deal with a lot of demons.  I was writing songs about breaking free of old habits and embracing the joy that is the future that could be, but the emotions I was experiencing were those of rejection.  I was having my music that I had worked so hard on reviewed by critics at newspapers and record executives, and they were both saying the same thing: the music was poorly produced and the songs lacked any real emotion.  It was as if to say I didn't do a good job.  The truth was simply I didn't work with the right person on the project.  The music he created was great in his eye but terrible in others, and I felt caught in the middle.  I didn't know if it was my fault for working with someone who wasn't aware of his less than perfect production skills, or if the majority of people giving me feedback were wrong, or if I was not a good singer on the whole.

Instead of trying to find the answers to these questions I hid my troubles in the fantasies of my teenage desires.  I went into my comfort zone of dolls and cartoons.  I would spend hours on ebay and rinkya trying to find perfect custom outfits and the perfect dolls to make-over.  I would research how to repaint doll faces and reroot heads.  I spent thousands of dollars on this obsession and it pretty much took over my life.  I sometimes spent entire nights rerooting doll heads.  I wasn't alone though.  I had my dog and endless bags of chips to keep me company.  And it was ridiculous.  I continued to promote the music, continued to hire publicists to get me exposure, and continued to pay a booking agent thousands of dollars to get me gigs in nowhere places.

I was basically trying to move forward with my life while holding on to old obsessions.  Because I felt like a failure everything I invested my money and time in was failing too.  My mother once told me I turn to dolls because I need something I can physically grasp that I can control, because in general my life is usually quite chaotic.  And she was right.  We in general cling to the things we feel we have control over and obsess about them until it's all we can focus on.

I finally broke away from the dolls when I moved out of my parent's house.  It was a smart move because I was leaving that which was encouraging me to sit still in a life that was not too lively.  I've slowly been able to move forward in my life in little steps at a time.  Since leaving my old obsession I've gotten the courage to take acting lessons, go to hollywood parties, and live in a city I was terrified of for years prior to moving to it.  If you are experiencing something stressful, the last thing you should do is revert back to an old habit.  The deeper you go into something you know is not beneficial to you and the people around you, the harder it's going to be for you to move on with your life.

I encourage you to think about what it is you're doing right now that might be preventing you from moving forward with your life.  If it's a bad thing, take one day at a time to move out of it.  Rome wasn't built in a day and neither should a new life be.  The more time you take to understand what you're doing so you can let go of it, the more you're going to learn from the process.  Amen.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I love this woman:) part 2 video now up!


Have you ever wondered why you seem to get stuck in your life? Repeating bad habits or finding yourself in the same situations over and over again?

That's your paradigm.

So what IS your paradigm? It's how your mind is programmed. And if you don't consciously change it, your mind will stay stuck at the same setting – which produces the same results.

And if you want to change your results, you need to change your paradigm.

The GOOD news is you can easily be taught to change your paradigm, adjust the setting, and create a higher set point. And, therefore, better results – results you love.

My friend Mary Morrissey, who is the expert on the Spiritual Side of Success, has just released the second video in her new, free, 3-video series, and in this video, she explains exactly how to do that.

Get it here: The Power of Paradigms

The second video, “The Power of Paradigms,” will help you change your way of thinking so you open up the doors that lead you to your dream.

“Changing your paradigm” may sound tricky, or even scary. But the fact is, having the power to do so is a great opportunity, and when you harness this ability, you will be unstoppable in the pursuit of your dream.

Video 2 reveals how you can stop letting the facts of your current circumstances prevent you from dreaming your true dream.

It’s time to tune in to a different wavelength – and reap the rewards.

Remember, the series is absolutely free – it’s Mary’s gift to you because it’s her passion to help individuals like you create new paradigms – and achieve their dreams.

Ready to change your paradigm and change your life? Click here to do so and receive immediate access to the second video: The Power of Paradigms

I’ve heard Mary speak before, and I highly recommend her. Her presentations and programs are always packed full of life-changing information.

Here’s to your dream – it’s waiting,
Joel Evan Tye

P.S. Feel free to invite your friends, too, but be sure to sign up, first! The Power of Paradigms

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I just love this woman!...special video for you:)


To support you in building your dreams…I have a great gift for you!

This is one of the best video series I’ve seen on how to take a dream and turn it into reality.  It’s goes much deeper than just strategies—this is the stuff most people miss when going after a dream, which is why so few people really live their dreams.
Check it out here: Dream Building Secrets

My good friend Mary Morrissey, incredible author, teacher, and dream-building specialist, created this powerful video series to help you determine what you really want, and how to step into that life in a much bigger way.  

If you haven’t heard of Mary, here are just a few of her credentials: best-selling author of three books, had her own PBS special, created two multi-million dollar businesses, spoke three times at the United Nations, held week-long meetings with His Holiness The Dalai Lama, the list goes on and on… 

It is her life’s work and her passion to help people like you to take their dreams and turn them into reality.

Recently, Mary told me that she has talked with lots of people who are struggling. They say they would love to build a dream – but they feel like they don’t even know what their dream is. Or they didn’t know if it was the right dream for them. Or why they experience success in one area in their life and not in another.

If you’ve experienced any of those frustrations then these FREE videos will really help.

Click below to get immediate access to the first video:
Dream Building Secrets

Here are some details about what’s included in this gift:

Video 1 will cover How to Discover YOUR Dream. We’re talking about the dream that lives deep inside your heart, that will light you up and make you happy. It’s not your parents’ dream, your spouse’s dream or society’s dream for you – it’s YOUR dream and once you discover it, you can begin to make it happen.

Video 2 will reveal the Power of Paradigms. The human mind is programmed to stay on the same setting, which produces the same circumstances. The great news is, you can change that setting and create a higher set point so you’re moving more positive energy through your life.

Video 3 will explain the Art and Law of Receiving, so you can create a flash point of new energy and new life. You can secure that flash point so that every minute of every day, you’re saying to yourself, “I love my life.”

Procrastination is like kryptonite for dreams, so don’t wait…click here and get instant access to the first video now: Dream Building Secrets

You’ll be glad you did :-)

I’ve heard Mary speak before, and I highly recommend her. Her presentations and programs are always packed full of life-changing information.

Here’s to your dream – it’s waiting,

Joel Evan Tye

P.S. Feel free to invite your friends, too, but be sure to sign up, first!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Perfect Workout

I have received many messages asking me what I do for my workouts.  The answer is, I do what feels right.  The mind and body connection is very much a real thing.  If you are doing a workout that you find too repetitive, boring, or a chore for which you don't look forward to, you're not going to get the most out of your workouts.  You may get some results, but the best results will be achieved when your spirits are up, when you are in a good place while exercising, while your mind is in harmony with the activity you are doing (which goes for just about everything in life).

The mind craves variety.  It also craves chances to prove itself with new challenges.  When I workout, I use both these principles.  When I first come to a gym, I take a tour of all the equipment.  I write out what workouts I want to do on what days.  I take these workout routines with me, and I increase the weight or the repetitions a little more each time I come back to that exercise the following week.  I keep a small notepad with me to keep track of the weights and reps for each exercise.  I feel really good every time I'm able to get the weight to a level that I didn't think I previously could. 

Sometimes though the routines do get boring.  I feel tired of doing those exercises, and I find myself cheating during the workout and thinking of other things instead of concentrating on my body.  At this time I know a change is needed.  I go back to my routines and redo them.  I replace exercises with similar ones, I exercise different muscle groups together, or I redo the routine completely with all new exercises.  Sometimes just a certain exercise I'll grow tired of, or that day there will be too many people using the machine I am scheduled to use, in which case I try something new that week, which I may or may not return to the following week depending on if it was enjoyable.

Your workouts don't have to be super strict either.  If for some reason you can't make it to the gym or it's just not the right mood, it may be better to skip that day.  I sometimes take a few days to a few weeks off from the gym if I'm just not feeling it.  The time away not only helps your body repair muscle fibers, but also will revitalize your joy for working out; the longer you spend time away from the gym the more fun it will be when you return.  So if your body needs a break, take a break.

Follow these simple ideas to achieve your best body:
1. Set goals to achieve with exercises.
2. Change things when they become stagnant.
3. Take breaks when needed.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Lost in Where You've Been

When people ask us to tell them about ourselves, we often trace back to who we were, where we have been.  It's hard to explain to people who we are without acknowledging where we have been.  The truth is though, every time we acknowledge that past we bring it into the present.  We release feelings attached to those memories instead of feelings for that which we dream to be.  Then, when circumstances repeat themselves, we wonder why.  We have forgotten that we have spent so much time talking about and thinking about the past.  This is not to say we should completely forget where we have been, but we should take a moment to think, do I really want to go back to where I've been?  Do I want my present to be identical to my past, or am I ready for new experiences?  The more often we acknowledge our past the more often we are going to feel as if we are still there.

As Mary Morrissey explains, everything is created twice, first as a thought, then as a physical object or event.  What we imagine ourselves to be becomes then our experience.  If we are stuck on our past or our present, then that is which we are going to continue to experience.

My horoscope this morning told me I was living all too often in the past, and when I thought about it, I realized that little automated message on my phone was absolutely right.  I've for weeks been so worried about where my life is going, I've often turned to where I've been to justify those fears.  I think I've really been doing my psyche some damage.  What I need to do, and I encourage you all to do similarly, is look at that which I want to happen, regardless of circumstance.  Circumstance is a thought brought on by limitations we make in our minds; if we stick too much to circumstance, it is possible we may never leave it.  For example I want financial security, I want to be debt free, and I want to make money doing what I love.   If I stick to these simple phrases, it is more likely I will start to live these dreams than living in the present circumstances I am facing this moment from thinking about everything I've done wrong to bring me where I am.

Write it out and start to believe what it is your are writing about.  Answer this question: what would I love?  See where the answer takes you, not only on the paper, but in feeling, explore what sort of emotions come up when you answer the question.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


I wanted to take a moment to talk on the subject of opportunities.  The phrase "opportunity knocks" is something that I've always enjoyed, because I often think if something comes to me that is in relation to that which I've been thinking about that it is an opportunity to become closer to my dream.  Some opportunities may lead us in other directions though, which depending on how you look at these circumstances, can be good for you or bad.  The truth is, we're given various opportunities everyday, every moment of our lives.  Something as small as an irk in our stomach is an opportunity to get something to eat.  If we are in a public place, there may be an opportunity to get a sandwich, or an opportunity to get a salad, just as much as there is an opportunity to get a chocolate parfait.  Similarly, if you're thinking about becoming a model and you see an ad for modeling school in the corner of an internet page you are looking at, you may think this is an opportunity to follow your dream.  But sometimes the opportunities we grab may be in the moment of excitement and not out of true intent.  The modeling school could be a scam, just as much as the sandwich we decide to grab out of hunger can be loaded with unhealthy ingredients may cause us indigestion.

The truth is, opportunities come to us based on what we are thinking about, but it's our ability to see all the opportunities and stay in the vibration of what we truly want before we choose one.  Returning to our food example, if we are hungry and walk into a restaurant and are handed a menu, we see a whole list of possible opportunities for something to eat.  Typically we don't just order the first thing on the menu, we study the menu, look at a variety of choices, and choose the one we think is best for the moment.  Sometimes we make a good choice and the food is delicious and good for our body.  Other times we choose something that tastes just awful.  This latter choice may simply be the universe trying to tell us about the choices we are making in general though.  What is it we want to eat?  The choice we make will determine whether the food is good, whether it is filling, and whether it's going to get us functioning the rest of the day with the proper nutrients.

I encourage you to think of all of your life as one big menu.  The choices you can make, the opportunities you can take, all listed in front of you, and using your intuition and intention make the best choices for yourself.  And if you make a choice that at first glance seems like a bad choice, try seeing it through other angles.  Maybe there was an important lesson to be learned by taking that opportunity, and perhaps brings you closer to the dream than you first expected.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What is your soul attracted to?

I thought about what attraction is this afternoon.  I was driving down one street and I passed a street a former lover of mine lives on.  It was a strange moment for me because I have passed that street dozens of times in the last few months and felt rather uneasy, sometimes angry even.  Today was different though.  I was thinking about love the instant I crossed that intersection.  I was thinking about the fact that I've never been in love.  I was thinking about the fact that none of my romantic partners have ever been in my life longer than three months.  In times past when I have thought of him I have thought of the list of things wrong with him, but today I was thinking what I liked about him, and I started to understand just what attraction is.

The truth is I am almost always the one to get dumped.  On the other hand although I have felt a break-up feeling from the relationship, that of abandonment and sadness, I always know that person lacked things that I seek in a partner and was kind of glad the relationship had ended.  I have high standards when it comes to a partner, but in all honesty we all should have standards for ourselves as to what we want.  For example, I could never form a serious relationship with someone who didn't like himself.  All too often though because of my lack of focus, I've found myself with people with perfect bodies that still think of themselves as "fat," or men that even after various plastic surgeries and being on steroids still feel that I am better looking than they, which ends up making me feel uncomfortable because I don't want my lover to feel that I am better than they, I want someone that no matter what he or I looks like, he sees me as his equal.

Arielle Ford in her book, The Soulmate Secret, instructs the reader to create a very specific list of qualities s/he wants in a soulmate on every aspect.  Everything from religious views to sexual orientation she advises one list.  This, she explains, does not mean that everyone you meet needs to match the list to a "t," but the list should serve as a guide to redirect your thinking so that you are in a mindset of looking for that which you deeply want whenever you meet a new potential mate.

I bring this up because when I thought about that former lover of mine today, I was reminiscing about the qualities he had that were on my list, and it made me feel good.  He was someone I could have both silly and serious conversations with, and he was someone that I just felt good when I was around.  It   wasn't the person I was recalling, I was picturing those aspects of him that I enjoyed that made me feel good and putting a face to them.  During that whole instant I thought to my self "it would be wonderful to have a person like that again."  That is what attraction is: the ability for us to see in other people the qualities we find most important in the human race.

The last time I wrote out a soulmate list was in 2009.  As I think it is now time to reassess that which I once thought I needed so that I can create a better picture in my mind of what I am looking for, I encourage all of you to sit down this weekend and write out your soulmate list.  Lovers come and go, and imperfect relationships should be temporary, but the mate that is a perfect match for your soul is the one you are supposed to end up with.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Finding your Sanctuary

Where do you feel safe?  Often times when we are in a state of less than perfect, we need a place to go to.  We need a sanctuary.  This is the place you go to when you need to heal, or when you seek guidance from a higher power.  It can be a physical place such as a bedroom, or it can be purely in your mind, such as a place you've never been in real life but sometimes end up in in dreams that feels safe.  The reason we all need sanctuaries is to take a break from the reality that is life and focus on that which we wouldn't normally see, or to simply lie for a moment in nothingness in order to clear our heads.

I myself have three sanctuaries that I discovered during my teenage years.  The first is the shower.  The feeling of hot water calms me down; sitting in the bathtub with a lit candle as the only light and gentle music is the next step in my "water meditation."  I've tried all sorts of things in the water, oils and bubble baths, but I find simply very hot water in the almost darkness to be my favorite, along with Sarah Mc Lachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"

My second sanctuary is next to window that faces open space during sunset.  This is the place I went to most during my youth.  There's something about the setting sun, the heat from the rays just before it starts to fade coming into the room and hitting my body that I find extremely soothing.  I noticed my dog loves it too.  I feel like a plant being wrapped in the sun's warmth.

My third sanctuary is my bedroom at night lit by a simple candle.  I seem to get my greatest sense of ease being in this place.  I play soft music usually when I am here.  Sometimes I do the Alexander Technique exercise I explained in this morning's "Hotness Factor" facebook group.

In all of these sanctuaries I do the same thing.  I take a deep breath and ask myself a question: "What has brought me here?  What is it that I need to know that I'm not seeing an answer to at the moment?"  I think about what I am going through and ask for guidance as to what it all means, and what I can do to move forward with my life instead of continuing to do the same things day in and out. 

Next time you're not feeling well, try visiting your sanctuary.  It may be the place you're needed most.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Choosing to see the miracle

One of my favorite affirmations from Deepak Chopra is "Every choice I make is between a grievance and a miracle.  I relinquish all doubts, grievances, and regrets, and choose the miracle."  What I love about that quote is that it shows us that no matter what the circumstance is we can choose how we look at it.  We can choose to say that what we are going through is hard or difficult, or that a problem has arisen, or we can look at every situation as a tool for learning.  A miracle is that which causes a change, we can see it as a gift from the universe.  A miracle doesn't necessarily have to be a dramatic earth-shattering shift, it can be as small as finding a dollar in your back pocket, or chipping a nail in the midst of a stressful situation so that we can take a step back and say, "wait a second, allow me to review this situation from a clearer perspective."

I encourage you maybe over the next few days to experiment with this idea and see what effect it has on your well-being.  Any time things may seem to be going in a bad direction, stop, and ask yourself, "What is the lesson here to be learned?  What is the universe trying to show me by putting me in this circumstance?"  In other words, what is the miracle I can choose to see in this situation?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Vitality: the new wonder pill? I'm set for life!

I am someone with energy issues.  Since I was a teenager I've always had trouble staying awake during the day, not to mention issues with focusing.  I've also had trouble sleeping through the night most of my life.  As I've gotten older, my energy issues have increased, and I've often found myself consuming large amounts of caffeine during the day to stay awake, as well as regular naps.

For the last two months I've been on a new supplement called Vitality.  It is an herbal supplement that is designed to go into your body and repair the mitochondria in your cells that have been damaged over the years to give your body the vim and vigor you had as a youth.  Vitality is supposed to give you sustained energy throughout the day without the use of energy supplements, give you better mental clarity, better sleep, and increased libido.  Some people have reported other ways Vitality has improved their lives.  People with arthritis and chronic back pain have said it's lessened the normal pain they feel.  People with degenerating eye conditions have said it has allowed their vision to improve.  Pet owners have also reported giving small doses to their aging cats and dogs have allowed their animals to regain the strength and energy they once had as puppies and kittens.

My results with the supplement have been great.  For the first time since I was maybe 12 years old I now sleep through the night, and wake up in the morning feeling rested and energized.  Because of this I no longer need an afternoon nap.  I no longer take diet pills to stay awake and if I have any caffeine during the day, it's simply a cup of tea.  Another really great result I've had with Vitality is my recovery time from workouts.  I used to have to wait two to three days in between workouts due to soreness, but in the last month I haven't had to do any recovery.  I find myself able to go back to the gym everyday.

Vitality is not simply an energy supplement, it revitalizes your cells, fighting aging from the inside out.  I have to say I am really happy to have started it and will probably continue to use it for the rest of my life.

Vitality is not available in stores.  It is only available from an official nuskin distributor.  Because I love the product so much I have become one, and you can get a bottle from my site:  If you are interested in becoming a nuskin distributor as well please feel free to email me.  They have great products for the face and body, including a non-surgical face-lift machine that I am also using and love!

Next month I'll be giving my report on nuskin's other best-selling supplements, their multi-vitamin pack, Life-pac Nano, and their antioxidant super juice, G3, as I am putting them through a trial run as we speak.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Who do you want to be known as?

What do you think of when you think of your past?  About a million thoughts come forth when we answer this question to ourselves.  The question then becomes, what of our past should we remember?  The answer is that which we can use to build a brighter future.

There are a handful of things I recall in my past, and people who know me intimately generally only know the negative things I went through.  The reason for that is it's easier for us to talk about the bad things we went through.  The question is, do you want to be someone who everybody knows as the one who only has bad things happen to him?  Most people would say no.  The problem is, as humans we crave negative information, gossip, sad stories, and violence.  Look at what the majority of the news reports on, look at the subject matters of the most popular tv shows and movies being made.  As a species we love controversy and suffering.  Why is that?  Some would say it is because suffering is a part of life, some that our parents taught us to be ashamed of ourselves because their parents did the same unto them, and so on.  There are many plausible answers and yet none of them really matter.

We don't have to be like everyone else or like our parents, we can be different.  Someone who refuses to follow the status quo is happy more often, shares stories of good things that happen to him/her, and not only believes in a brighter future but through all circumstances lives in that brighter place.  I myself am currently making a effort to be the person I just spoke of.  It is my duty as such to remember the good I've been through.  So now it is only appropriate to share one of those stories in hopes that you may recall one of your own:

When I was 15 I fell in love.  There wasn't a specific person I fell in love with.  I just remember on my 15th birthday I was in Connecticut staying with my grandparents and I was putting my clothes on and it hit me, "I want to be in love, I want to find the love of my life."  The feeling was incredible, as if a burden had been lifted from my shoulders and I felt like I was as light as air.  The feeling stayed with me for a while, and whenever I got quiet I could bring the feeling back, to this day I can do it.  I haven't found the love of my life, but I have faith when it is truly meant to happen it will happen, so until then, whenever an ocean of anxiety comes over me about whatever I'm going through, I bring myself back to that place and the world becomes a better place.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Trading Spaces

The life you live is the life you've planned.  It sounds odd but what many spiritual speakers say is that the life we are living right now is the life we created prior to this experience in our mind.  And in a way for me it makes sense.  In the short term for example, when I went to bed last night I didn't think today would be any different than yesterday for me in terms of what I'd be doing.  I have my list of people I need to contact on my desk, I also thought I should go grocery shopping today after I workout.  So in a way today for me was planned out in my head ahead of time.
There is a bigger picture however.  We will continue to exist everyday no matter what, so what we imagine ourselves doing is what we are going to live.  I challenge you though, to think about, "What would I really like to do with my time?  Is there something I want to do that I'm not planning for at the moment with my thoughts?"  These are thoughts I've had for years, but I really didn't know how to change my thinking until I started writing it all out.
There is nothing more that I want than to change my life.  I would love to have more money to use for music projects, recording new tracks and traveling all over the world to perform for people with elaborate stage shows and costumes.  That is my dream and has been my dream for some time; but I didn't really know how to get to that life from where I've been sitting for so many years.
Of course it takes an effort in the physical realm, but the thought process is just as important.  I have to learn how to think like I am already that person I dream of before I start to see it in reality.  In other words, I need to trade spaces: I need to put my thoughts in the realm of the future Joel before I can become him in the present.  I've learned how to start doing that with the help of Mary Morrissey.  Now I don't know if her dreambuilder program is meant for you, but I highly recommend you check it out.  Here is a link to her upcoming teleseminar:  
In her teachings, Mary can show you how to gradually move into a place of higher being, how you can harness your dream before it happens.
So what are you planning today?  What are you planning tomorrow?  What are you planning 3-6 months from now?  Take one step at a time, you may be surprised just how much your life changes if you make an effort to trade spaces with the future you.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Harnessing Forgiveness

Almost all of us have held a grudge against someone at some point in our lives.  I wanted to talk about grudges because I've been hearing several stories from friends about people they are angry with.  Being mad at someone doesn't always mean they are going to be able to receive that anger you are sending, especially if you are not even confronting that person and are miles away.  On top of that, deep down none of us really want to send anger to another, we're simply caught up in our own desires in the moment and any feelings of betrayal can be traced back to childhood issues.  The classic saying is, holding a grudge is like taking poison in hopes that the other person will die.  Holding onto anger puts you in a bad place.  It lowers your ability to feel good and focus on the things that really matter: the well-being of you and others around you.  Grudges are toxic to our minds and bodies. 
So the question is, how do we forgive people?  How do we get over these emotions of hate and disgust that seem to engulf us?  The answer lies in our thought pattern.  What we think about is what we get.  The more we think about how angry someone makes us, the more we analyze the situation and stay in those emotions, the more we are going to stay in that place of discontent.  We need to learn to forgive.  Sometimes forgiveness takes a little time and we have to be prepared for certain things to not happen overnight if we want to function as human beings. 
Here is what I have learned on forgiveness over the years.  First, put the issue aside and take note of the things you are grateful for and write them down.  Second, make a list of what you want, focus on your dream, and write those down in the present tense.  Imagine yourself living in that ideal world that you have written down, and spend some time in this dream, devote at least ten minutes everyday to dream building, and in addition to that, whenever the thoughts about the people or circumstances you are angry with arise, pull yourself away from them with the focus of your dream.  Continue to live this way, focusing on that which you are grateful for and that which is yet to come and little by little those things you were angry with will somehow not matter anymore when they come to mind.  It's kind of like when you have a bad break up with someone, and then you meet someone else and fall in love with him/her.  Once your feelings have shifted over time, your focus shifting to that of love for another rather than the hurt someone caused you, you suddenly are in a place of forgiveness of that previous person, because now the hurt doesn't hurt so bad.  That break up no longer has power over you.  You don't deny it happened, but you are able to look past it with true understanding.

Friday, February 25, 2011

The love of your life, the fear of your life

What is love?  It is a feeling, it is an emotion, it is something you search for and yet were born with the capacity all along.  Many spiritual advisers say there are really only two emotions: love and fear, and even then fear is just a form of love we just haven't explored carefully.  What we love is often connected to that which we fear.  On a simple level for example, some people love to eat sweets but are afraid of getting fat so they become health nuts that binge in secracy.  Some people love spending time with their families but fear when they have to interact with other people outside of that comfort zone despite the fact that all people are similar.  It is in our best interests that we figure out truly what we love, and what we fear.  When we know that which we fear, we can begin to take hold of it, discover it, and find the parts of it that are lovable and we can embrace.  When we know what we love, we can begin to see it in a light that we didn't notice before, releasing it from all judgments and seeing for truly what it is, pure love.

In an effort to encourage you, my friends, to find what it is that you love and fear in order to grow as your abundant selves, I will share with you my own personal love and fear battle.  I love being sexual and an exhibitionist, I love daydreams and my fantasies, I love showing how beautiful I can be and I love to entice everyone I meet with a gentle sense of flirtation.  Conversely, I have a fear of intimacy.  I have a fear of being touched when I'm alone with another person and actually feeling something emotional from that touch.  I have a fear of becoming too close to another person because everyone I've gotten close to has decided I wasn't good enough and walked away.  In this way I have filled my adult life with surface relationships and one night stands.  The only person I ever looked to for true comfort was myself.  I spent over ten years of my life being my only companion, and so when someone wants to get close to me, I tend to find reasons to pull away.  So, in short, I love attention but I fear intimacy.  If we were to explore these two sides, we would see that they are one and the same.  The truth is, there is nothing more I want in the world than to have true deep relationships with people, I want to see beyond people's surfaces and they see beyond mine.  You could say I desire that which is my greatest fear, and I despise that which I love.  At times I love that which I fear and hate that which I love; but the reality is, they are connected, both are truly different forms of the same desire, and each are an essential part of the other.  If there was no surface we could not first identify the object, and if there was no inner part to support, the surface would shatter upon contact.  The truth is, I really do love that which I love but I also love that which I fear, because I understand that each are just forms of love.  When I attract deep relationships into my life through the power of my own confidence in my self both inside and out, I conquer my fear and deepen my love.

I encourage you all this weekend to take a moment and sit with your love and fear.  Write them out: "I fear..." and "I love...."  When you look at the two close enough you may see a connection, and knowing as they say is half the battle.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Loose weight and detoxify with fruit

I went into this as my first post on the facebook group of the same name as this blog, but I thought I'd repeat it with a bit more detail because it's one of my favorite health tips.  Fruit is a peculiar food in that it will only digest properly in your system when it's eaten as its own food.  With the exception of bananas and some dried fruits like dried cranberries and dates, when we eat fruit with other foods, the sugars tend to rot in the stomach and our bodies don't absorb all the nutrients the fruit has to offer.  Many of us experience gas, upset stomach, or just a feeling of grogginess when this occurs.  The best way to eat fruit is on an empty stomach.  Even more beneficial is to eat fruit on an empty stomach 30-60 minutes before a meal.  The fruit will go in and detoxify your system making it easier to digest the upcoming meal.  In addition to that, your body will receive an extra serving of fruit by eating it before that meal, and we all know the 8 servings of fruits and vegetables a day rule.  I also just read an article recommended to me by a friend that said bananas or cherries can help with sleep if eaten just before bed.  Not all digestive systems are equal, so some people can eat fruit in their salads with no problem, just make sure though to get the optimum nutrition from that salad that there are no nuts or cheese on it, just fruit, vegetables, and a vinegar based dressing that doesn't contain diary.  When you love your fruit it will love you back, so enjoy fruits the right way.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The colors we use to describe ourselves

We all know that to say we're feeling blue means we are feeling less than able, and that when we are feeling red we're in a state of anger.  Today I encourage you to feel all sorts of colors.  Ask yourself, "what does it mean to feel orange?" or "what kind of mood am I in if all I see is pink?"  There may not be any clear answers to these questions that serves every individual, but I encourage you to find the answers that pertain specifically to you.  For example, I love to feel regal when it comes to my boudoir, so my color scheme is gold, but at the same time when I meditate, I not only sit in a brown chair, but I wear usually a brown outfit because it makes me feel closer to the earth.  A good exercise is to get quiet, take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself, "what color am I feeling?"  When the answer comes, sit for a moment and try to figure out why your mind is telling you to feel that color.  The answer may be just what you are looking for.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Being Social can help you loose weight

We all know what foods we shouldn't eat, rather, what foods are going to make us gain weight, make us feel gasy or bloated, or mess with our psyches and make us feel gloomy.  And if you are an obsessive eater you know how bad you can be.  For me it's chips.  I love chips, any kind of chip will do!  And I used to eat chips constantly, potato chips, corn chips, soy chips, nachos, rice chips....  The problem is everytime I eat chips I feel gross, because I practically shovel them into my mouth and don't look back.  The amount of calories is the problem, chips are so high in calories that my stomach can't digest them fast enough, which leads to moodiness, feeling bloated and excess fat around my belly.  The thing is, chips aren't bad for me, rather, lots of chips are bad for me and I know it!  So now, if I crave chips, I know not to eat them all by myself, I go to a party and have a few with company, or I invite friends over and serve them in a bowl so that other people will eat them with me.  That way, I'm not eating the whole bag, and eating junk foods in moderation is 100% okay in my book!  Everything you eat you should love, don't make certain foods toxic; if you don't love something don't put it in your body.  So next time you feel like pigging out, try eating those guilty pleasures with other people.  The extra company might incline you to not only not eat so much, but share in the joy of fun foods with your favorite people ^_^

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Mary Morrissey

I have been in Mary Morrissey's Dream Builder program for several months now and it has really helped me focus my attention on what is important to me.  Next month Mary will be holding a free teleclass on the basics of her spiritual and mental strategies.  I encourage you all to check it out:

On March 23rd at 6:00pm PT, 9:00pm ET, my friend Mary Morrissey, a world-renowned author, speaker and consultant who has helped hundreds of people to build and harvest their dreams, is offering a free teleclass, in which she’ll give you a 5-point test for determining whether your dream is right for you.

"3 Simple Secrets to Discovering and Living Your Dreams … No Matter How Out of Reach They Seem Right Now"  -- here's the link to reserve your space:
3 Simple Secrets Teleclass

If you feel frustrated and restless because you know you could be doing so much more – living such a bigger life – then you’ve got to get in on this ground-breaking call.  Mary will reveal her personal strategies for stopping your self-doubt and fear so you can move toward faith, self-love and confidence that will carry you toward your dream and your bigger life.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Yokoso Minna-san (welcome!)

Hello Friends,

This blog has been created for my fans.  Everyday I receive an email asking my advice on and what I do in my fitness, health, beauty, and well-being regiments to be my best.  I will now share it with all of you, including from time to time new announcements in what I've been up to in my career.  There'll be much more to come soon, so stay tuned ^_^.  If you ever have a specific question for me to answer, please do let me know: