Monday, March 26, 2012

The Story behind J.E.T.

I'm going to take a moment to address some concerns from the fans.  Recently I've received several comments on my photos asking me to go back to the version of my image that's a little less creative, basic catalog look would be the best description.  Last year, 2011, was the first year I really began to experiment with my looks.  I've slightly altered my look a little every year, but only the most die-hard fan would notice that.  Last year though I began to really experiment with my image: hair color changes and the integration of clothes originally designed for women.  Truth be told, granting myself this freedom to play, I've never been so happy and at one with the universe.

Those clothes may have been originally designed for women, but the truth is, clothes have no gender, they are not living things, we give our clothes gender.  A blind man would not know whether a tank top was cut to fit a woman's body or a man's, and a young child doesn't know boys don't wear dresses unless a parent tells him so, and that parent would not know unless someone told him, and so on. 

If you read my book, I'm Enough or the online article "The Boy Who Talked Like a Girl," you recall I grew up in a home where a girl could do anything a boy could do, but a boy couldn't do everything a girl could do.  I love ornate things, that which is accented with ribbons and jewels, and shoes with heels make me feel taller.  As a child I didn't know I wasn't allowed to have the things my sister had until someone told me boys couldn't have girl things.  I was that young child I just spoke of in the previous paragraph.  I hung onto that idea for the longest time, and it effected much of my life.  I've always had girl things: I'm obsessed with japanese dolls, and jewels, and I have a whole collection of things accented with rhinestones, but I hoarded these things and would only bring them out when I was alone.  If I didn't get a record deal, or a song of mine didn't chart, I was told it was because I wasn't a pretty girl and therefore unworthy of being a singer.  At some point I finally had to say that all this just wasn't true, that I wasn't inferior to a girl and therefore, I could do anything they could do and do it well.  That was the beginning of my transition into not only allowing myself to experiment in the public eye, but also realize I need to help others see what I'm seeing.

We don't think it odd if a woman plays sports, wears loose fitting jeans, or has an interest in engineering.  These are all things when my mother was a child that were forbidden.  Why do we need to say a man in heels is wrong?  Has everyone forgotten the platform shoes of 1970?  And who's to say a man still cannot wear a skirt?  The only reason we reject these notions is because we're stuck in paradigms of gender identity.  Our identity isn't determined by our clothes, we all know this and yet we're still judging.  One fan told me I was doing drag in my photos.  He was calling it drag because from his perspective a man is trying to be a woman when he wears women's clothes.  A man is only doing drag when he's impersonating a woman.  I'm not trying to look like a woman, I'm playing dress-up and wearing things that boost my confidence and I have fun wearing.  I don't care if something was meant for a woman, if it's fun to wear I'm going to rock the sh*t out of it.  Mark my words, there will come a day when a man in heels will be as normal as a woman in pants.

So I say this friend, experiment with your thinking.  Is there something you think is cool but you can't imagine yourself in it because you're afraid of what others will say?  Is there something you see someone wearing that you feel is gross or inappropriate?  Feelings in both those instances come from fear and insecurity.  Instead of feeling fear and insecurity, how are you going to practice love today?  How would love see the things you are seeing?  See the universe as a friendly place and everyone around you becomes just that.  I'm working on it, and I think we all should.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Truth about Good Posture

Posture.  I've touched on the subject before but I would like to go into depth on why it is important to have good posture.  The only reason I bring it up is because I have rather horrible posture *_*, but just recently I've realized how I need to stop it, and I'll explain why.  I look down at the ground when I walk most of the time, or I look up at the sky.  In turn I often feel lonely, and I've developed the reputation of being shy and unapproachable.  In fact, I'll look anywhere possible to avoid other people's faces.  A paradigm of mine is a fear of looking strangers in the face and meeting their eyes.  The fear stems from childhood when I would look someone in the face and they would say something mean to me.  It's silly that I still carry around such a fear, and so from this point forward, as I encourage you to work on your posture, I commit to working on mine as well. 
What is the reason for good posture?  Shoulders back, eyes focused on the horizon, and a smile across our lips, really impacts us on a sub-conscious level.  When you take this stance as you move around your day, it becomes inevitable that your gaze will meet the people you cross.  By saying hello to these people, maybe even asking how they are, or complimenting something about them, it will in turn open you up.  It's impossible to feel bad when you are being pleasant to another, and for them to acknowledge your kindness is an amazing feeling.  Think of how good you feel when you tell someone you like their shoes, etc., and they respond with a thank you, or even may compliment you on something as well. 
That is the purpose of good posture: you're building your confidence with complimenting others, and over time this translates into you feeling like a friendlier person.  If you are in search of the more friends, or the love of your life, by feeling these feelings more regularly, you are attracting such into your life.  Remember like attracts like, friendly people who feel loved attract just that.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Self Love in Circumstance

Almost everyone knows what it is like to be loved unconditionally.  And if we don't know maybe what it is like, we know what the phrase unconditional love means.  It means loving without any reason to love, a love based on pure trust that that other person will love us no matter what and we them.  No matter who is in your life, there is always one person we can love unconditionally, and that person is ourselves.  Loving yourself unconditionally is more than just saying "I like myself," in the mirror, it's also remembering to never condemn anything you do.  If you think you do something that is bad, or irritating to others, or you say things like "I'm just a bitch, deal with it!" that's not loving yourself, that's coming to terms with self-hate, which will just make you feel uncomfortable and lower your self-esteem over time.   Be okay with being you at all times.  And when you say or do something that you feel was in the wrong, remind yourself it was simply an experience that is now in the past, and when a similar situation arises again, you will take different action.  Just the thought of knowing you will handle things in a more positive way in the future is a step up from sitting there and reminding yourself you did something wrong.  The idea of rewarding yourself everyday is also very powerful overtime.  At the end of each day, ask yourself, "what did I do right today?"  Make a list if you can.  The more you focus on what things are good in your life and the things you're doing right, the less of an emotional impact anything bad will have on you.