Paradigm Busting

We are not our past, we are not our memories, and yet we have a tendency to cling to what we've done or experienced and say that is us.  We say if the thought of joining in a group of children when we were young frightened us, that it is logical that it still frightens us today to walk into a bar or social event and engage the people there. 
We make choices though, as to what we hold onto as adults that we experienced as children.  If a program on television or a movie had a character who scared us, we're not necessarily going to be scared of that character at age 30 when we see it again.
What is it, that makes some memories stick to our subconscious and drive us to insecurities as adults?  The answer lies in the opposite, why some situations and things don't affect us as adults is because of our reasoning mind.  Our reasoning mind tells us what should be good and what should be bad.  It's not that anything is specifically good or bad by definition, but our reasoning mind tells us what is good or bad for us according to what makes us feel safer.  It also tells us how to react to things when they occur repeatedly.  We often call these things paradigms: our reactions to stimuli on a daily basis, habitual patterns.  For example, one of my paradigms is that I cannot walk into any social gathering without feeling anxious and the need to run out.  I wasn't born with this instinct, it was developed over years of exposure to crowded rooms of strangers where I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing when I entered the room.  However, I have found that it is just a matter of adjustment to my surroundings.  The first time I went to any of the gyms I joined I had the same issue, but when I started going to that gym on a repeated basis, and had routines to do there, I found that no matter how crowded the gym was it did not bother me.
I was able to use my reasoning mind to realize that when I had a purpose, plan, and familiarity with the situation, my paradigm didn't exist.  I've experimented with this theory, that if something I am normally fearful of comes to me, that if I reason what my intention is in this situation, that if I can make myself a plan during the experience, that fear if not entirely goes away, lessons to a great extent.
Use your reasoning mind to bust your paradigms.  There's no reason for your to fear anything, nor assume certain tasks are impossible when you know you need to do them.  It's a matter of perception, and we all know, overcoming a fear feels so good.