I thought I would take a moment to address the subject of appearance. Most of us know the way we look is based on subjective interpretation. To say we look good or bad is based on our perception of what particularly looks good or bad. For example if you think heaviness is unattractive, then anytime you feel you are of a heavy stature in comparison to another, you are going to feel that you do not look good. Likewise if you see another who is heavy-set, you are going to think that person does not look good.
What fascinates me about perception is that if you perceive someone in a negative way, that negative emotion doesn't necessarily affect him or her, but it always affects you. Our minds are programmed in such a way that hearing negative things, whether directed at ourselves or others, will result in feeling negative. When you say someone else is ugly your subconscious hears it as if you feel you are ugly. The proof in this is how we feel after we express a negative opinion. Try sitting in negative statements for a few minutes and then take a moment to check in on how you feel. Go through a fashion or gossip magazine, for example, and state all the negative opinions you can about the models and celebrities. Then check in with yourself, how do you feel? Something doesn't feel quite right, no?
We are all one and the same, we are all human with bodies, hearts, skin. We all on some level want to love and be loved. We want to avoid feeling pain and bathe in joy, whatever each of those may be for you or for me may be different, but nevertheless each at its core is the same, everything is for the sake of pleasure or pain.
If we are all one and the same, what you want for yourself should be what you want for everyone else. That's not always the case though. We walk around day after day judging everyone who passes our way. This person is fat, her shoes are hideous, his outfit looks like he just pulled it out of a trash can. These are all things we say to ourselves or similar to people who pass us by, whether in person, on a computer screen, or on the television. The question is why? Why do we have a need to observe that someone is the way they are in comparison to us or another we're seeing as the standard? Just as we decide how we ourselves look, we are hoping everyone will look a certain way for our pleasure. It's a defense mechanism: when everyone looks a way to our liking we feel safe. But the truth is, you nor I can control the way anyone looks. We can look the way we want to, but never is everyone going to look a certain way for our security.
What if you could accept love in all of its shapes and forms regardless of the packages it came in? Meaning, what if you could see everyone as simply a being of love and nothing more or less? In this sense there is no need to say someone is fat or thin, muscular, or flabby, even secure or insecure, we're all simply beings on a quest to find and give love. Everyone is simply appearing in a way they've chosen. I'm not talking about romantic love when I say love, I'm simply referring to the offering of and exchange of attention.
It's a wonderful thing to love and be loved. Even the little things, someone drops a paper and you pick it up for them, when they say thank you you can feel their love. Whenever you start to form an opinion of yourself or others, pause for a moment and simply remind yourself that we are all beings of love. How are you expressing love? How is this other person trying to express love? The answers to these will help you cease the need to judge, and little by little, everyone you meet will have something wonderful to give you.