I want to talk about tolerance today. Specifically, I want to share a personal opinion about tolerance. This morning via a Gay Star News link on twitter, I read about a male college student in Florida who desired to check out a laptop from the school library to do work on. The young man had a voice that sounded female to the librarian and he had his hair pulled back in a pony tail. After checking his ID the librarian refused to let the young man check out the computer because she believed it was not his ID and in fact he was not a boy but a girl. It took several librarians checking out the ID card before one finally allowed the young man to get his laptop.
The reason this story struck a chord with me so deeply is because I was once that young man. I will share with you a story I have never made public before. Some of you are familiar with the published story of my childhood entitled "The Boy Who Talked Like a Girl" (and if you're not simply google the title and the story will pop up), so you know I only whispered until age twenty. It wasn't a complete whisper, it sort of sounded like a raspy sore throat sort of sound. One day during my senior year of high school, I needed to get one of parent's permission to go on a field trip as I had forgotten a permission slip at home. It was a small school and they knew me well, so I just needed to get oral confirmation. I called home but my mother was out. My father had just started a new job, so I called the number on the business card he gave me and a woman answered the phone. I asked to speak with my father and told the woman I was his son. The woman hesitated, and asked me to clarify "Your his son!? You mean his daughter? Excuse me, is this some sort of joke!?" At this point my heart was racing, I was confused and didn't know what to do, apparently my voice sounded like a female on the phone. I insisted I was his son and she started laughing. She then said, "Sorry Honey, he's at a meeting, good-bye."
I didn't get to go on that field trip. When I got home that day I went to my room. I started working on a homework assignment and all of a sudden I stopped and just burst into tears. I just cried, and not like weeping but I was crying like you see people do in movies after someone has died. I didn't know how to handle it, all the embarrassment, all the shame, I just sat there and cried it all out, ruining the paper I had started to write on. I go up from my desk and lied down. I fell asleep. When I woke up the sun had gone down and my face was lying in a pool of tears.
The thing is, I'm sharing this story with you because this and the college student's story bring up a good point: be careful with how you treat others because you'll never know how you'll affect them. Those librarians and the woman on the other end of that phone call were bullies. They were people who were probably having a bad day and decided to take it out on the first victim they could find, or maybe simply they themselves had lived lives where others weren't very nice to them, and so they had to express what they had been taught, that hazing leads to some level of satisfaction. I often note when I now encounter a bully simply this: every bully is somebody else's victim, and most victims if they do not learn to cope with how they've been treated eventually become bullies themselves. We can cope with our bullies, and we can prevent ourselves from becoming bullies if we remember this. As always if we're ever unsure of how to act or respond in a situation, we just need to turn it around, try to figure out what is a rational way to justify bad behavior: the realization that that person was hurt by someone else and he or she is just acting that hurt out.
Although we're evolving as a society, there are still going to be people out there who feel the need to judge, who feel the need to say a man isn't a man if he talks like a girl or looks a certain way. In time though, as long as we stick to educating our youth, people like this will fade away from society, and we will live in a much more tolerant world. Until then, do your homework, work on you, work on your own tolerance and understand if you can overcome how a bully affects you, you will grow to be a better, stronger person, and then you can help other people become stronger too. Forgive your bullies because they were in pain. You may not be able to forgive right away, but in time, trust me, forgiveness is the most beneficial thing you can do for your well being.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
For Your Interpretation
The world is a beautiful place. Likewise, the world is an awful place. It's all in your perspective. There is no right or wrong, according to our perspectives we can be right, we often all feel sure of what we believe. That's a little scary when you see some of the stuff people believe, and it also kind of make sense when you see all the pain and suffering in the world. Naturally though, we all want the same thing, we want to be relieved of pain and experience happiness. The problem then that arises is that we don't all believe we can be pain free, and sometimes in the pursuit of maintaining our pain, we start to wish others would be in pain too. Sticking to our sob stories we repeat them to ourselves in our head, and then we tell them to others like a script we've rehearsed for a film, never realizing the birth of our very pain comes from insisting the pain is very real and inflexible. Alleviating pain starts with being able to focus on that which you would love, rather than that which you feel imprisoned by.
A simple example, July was a really hard month for me. I had some surgeries to alleviate the pains in my head and feet, and not only did I have to deal with then pains of recovering from those surgeries, I developed muscle pains in my neck and arm from sleeping funny to avoid sleeping on stitches. Add to that the stress of a snag in my tour I've been dying to get off the ground and running. During all this I realized though, I didn't have to see this as a painful experience, I could see it as a period of rebirth and recovery, and that is precisely what I did: I took mineral baths almost everyday, I napped in the afternoons, I watched all my favorite hub shows like Littlest Pet Shop and high school anime like Tari Tari, and most importantly, I visualized a better future.
I came to the conclusion my life wasn't coming to an end, it just was in a temporary hold, and though there were moments when I wanted to just break down and cry, I told myself no, I can survive this pain because pain is an everyday thing, it's simply the attention we give to the pain that determines if we can overcome it. My body is now slowly but surely healing, and I have started dialogues with new people in hopes that I can still make this tour happen, and all in all, I feel pretty good. What are you facing today? Will you break through it? Sometimes it's just a matter of believing to help the change get started.
A simple example, July was a really hard month for me. I had some surgeries to alleviate the pains in my head and feet, and not only did I have to deal with then pains of recovering from those surgeries, I developed muscle pains in my neck and arm from sleeping funny to avoid sleeping on stitches. Add to that the stress of a snag in my tour I've been dying to get off the ground and running. During all this I realized though, I didn't have to see this as a painful experience, I could see it as a period of rebirth and recovery, and that is precisely what I did: I took mineral baths almost everyday, I napped in the afternoons, I watched all my favorite hub shows like Littlest Pet Shop and high school anime like Tari Tari, and most importantly, I visualized a better future.
I came to the conclusion my life wasn't coming to an end, it just was in a temporary hold, and though there were moments when I wanted to just break down and cry, I told myself no, I can survive this pain because pain is an everyday thing, it's simply the attention we give to the pain that determines if we can overcome it. My body is now slowly but surely healing, and I have started dialogues with new people in hopes that I can still make this tour happen, and all in all, I feel pretty good. What are you facing today? Will you break through it? Sometimes it's just a matter of believing to help the change get started.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Preventing Bad Days
Negativity is inevitable, everyone experiences bad situations: days not going right, reaching out to others who only deliver disappointments and critical responses in return, or worse, no response, and then you’re left hanging onto a hope that they never intended to respond to. They say when you feed a fear, it grows, and with it, all that the fear brings with it comes stronger into your situation. The feeling that things are only going to get worse is powerful to the person who can’t seem to shake that feeling off, the reason for that being your feelings are more powerful than your thoughts in drawing an outcome. Thinking positive isn’t really a solution to a bad situation, the outcome of the situation is determined by how you feel about the outcome. In other words feeling preceeds thought, though we often think it’s the other way around. We never say, “I want to think better,” we say, “I want to feel better.” We’re a lot more connected to our emotions than we realize.
If you’re feeling resentment for an activity you’re doing, like helping a friend move some heavy furniture, you’re more likely to feel the physical pains of moving that furniture the next day, or worse, injure yourself during the process. This is because you’re giving your attention to the dominant feeling of pain, of the “lord, I wish I didn’t have to do this” anguish rather than the “I’m helping someone I love better his life” warm feeling. How do we solve this problem of always seeming to increase the bad of a bad situation?
We do it by checking into our feelings before taking action with everything we do. Notice how you’re feeling all the time. For example when you wake up in the morning, take a moment to check in with yourself, “How do I feel?” “Why do I feel like this?” and finally “Is there a better thought or way I could feel like this so that things will get better rather than worse?” Breathe during this process, not just simply breathing in and out, but regularly take a deep breath in and out several times, breathing with your mid section (when your belly rises and the chest remains stationary).
Practice this all day long, when a bad feeling or thought comes over you, check in with yourself. It’s not always easy to instantly go from a feeling of sadness or anger to a feeling of joy, but just checking in with yourself and asking these questions can raise your feeling tone to a little more positive, feeling a little better bit by bit. When you can gradually raise your feeling tone, you’ll see things that hurt you before won’t feel as bad, and eventually, won’t even affect you. Here’s to healthy feeling habits <3
If you’re feeling resentment for an activity you’re doing, like helping a friend move some heavy furniture, you’re more likely to feel the physical pains of moving that furniture the next day, or worse, injure yourself during the process. This is because you’re giving your attention to the dominant feeling of pain, of the “lord, I wish I didn’t have to do this” anguish rather than the “I’m helping someone I love better his life” warm feeling. How do we solve this problem of always seeming to increase the bad of a bad situation?
We do it by checking into our feelings before taking action with everything we do. Notice how you’re feeling all the time. For example when you wake up in the morning, take a moment to check in with yourself, “How do I feel?” “Why do I feel like this?” and finally “Is there a better thought or way I could feel like this so that things will get better rather than worse?” Breathe during this process, not just simply breathing in and out, but regularly take a deep breath in and out several times, breathing with your mid section (when your belly rises and the chest remains stationary).
Practice this all day long, when a bad feeling or thought comes over you, check in with yourself. It’s not always easy to instantly go from a feeling of sadness or anger to a feeling of joy, but just checking in with yourself and asking these questions can raise your feeling tone to a little more positive, feeling a little better bit by bit. When you can gradually raise your feeling tone, you’ll see things that hurt you before won’t feel as bad, and eventually, won’t even affect you. Here’s to healthy feeling habits <3
Sunday, March 3, 2013
It Takes more than Lemons
So I haven't been to present on social networks for some time now due to a situation I was in. I was offered an opportunity that although would have completely changed my life for the better and provided everything I would need to take my career to the next level, it ended up falling through due to circumstances outside my control. For a while after receiving the devastating news I felt like I had nothing, as if abandoning my prior life to make room for this new one had destroyed everything I had and I contemplated simply destroying Sir JET all together. It took a lot of negotiating with myself to convince me there was still a chance my dream of being a full-time entertainer could still happen.
A handful of people during my social network absence were emailing my asking if I was still alive, and I jokingly responded to them the same phrase I've used for years in rough times: "life gave me lemons and now I'm making lemonade." That's something we say when we're trying to communicate that we're making good out of a bad situation. This morning though, I thought about it more.
You can't make lemonade out of lemons. If all you have is lemons the best you can do is squish the lemons and make lemon juice. To make lemonade you also need water, a knife, sugar, and a container to put all the ingredients into.
All my life I've been saying I've got lemons, lemons being problems. I never stopped to think that in order to make the lemonade, meaning the good that can come out of troublesome situations, I needed to have these other ingredients and kitchen tools. The thing is, the ingredients and the tools are your resources, the things you have under your belt that can help you turn those situations around. For me, my tools and ingredients are things like my current EP, my creative sense of style, my system of entertainment connections in Los Angeles, the love and support of my mother and other family members, and much more. I realized after looking into all that I had I really could try something new using the contacts and resources I already have, and I'm taking myself out of my problem.
Basically this is what I'm saying: you can't make lemonade out of just lemons. If you are focused on the problem and all you see is this big problem you have, the most you can do is make lemon juice, meaning more problems. You have to take the time to look in the kitchen to see what you've already got and use what you have to create that lemonade (or maybe you have an oven, flour, and a pie pan and want to make a tart ^_^). As Mary Morrissey would say, take the good you have and bless it. You never know just what you can create with what you have until you start searching the cabinets for ingredients.
A handful of people during my social network absence were emailing my asking if I was still alive, and I jokingly responded to them the same phrase I've used for years in rough times: "life gave me lemons and now I'm making lemonade." That's something we say when we're trying to communicate that we're making good out of a bad situation. This morning though, I thought about it more.
You can't make lemonade out of lemons. If all you have is lemons the best you can do is squish the lemons and make lemon juice. To make lemonade you also need water, a knife, sugar, and a container to put all the ingredients into.
All my life I've been saying I've got lemons, lemons being problems. I never stopped to think that in order to make the lemonade, meaning the good that can come out of troublesome situations, I needed to have these other ingredients and kitchen tools. The thing is, the ingredients and the tools are your resources, the things you have under your belt that can help you turn those situations around. For me, my tools and ingredients are things like my current EP, my creative sense of style, my system of entertainment connections in Los Angeles, the love and support of my mother and other family members, and much more. I realized after looking into all that I had I really could try something new using the contacts and resources I already have, and I'm taking myself out of my problem.
Basically this is what I'm saying: you can't make lemonade out of just lemons. If you are focused on the problem and all you see is this big problem you have, the most you can do is make lemon juice, meaning more problems. You have to take the time to look in the kitchen to see what you've already got and use what you have to create that lemonade (or maybe you have an oven, flour, and a pie pan and want to make a tart ^_^). As Mary Morrissey would say, take the good you have and bless it. You never know just what you can create with what you have until you start searching the cabinets for ingredients.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Attracting the Guy You Want Ecourse
Do you have a BROKEN PICKER?
The topic is your love life, and let me get right to the point because I know this issue is vitally important to you.
Have you become resigned to a flat, empty life without True Love? Do you feel stuck with your history of bad relationships and worry that you'll never be able to change your results?
Does it seem that you must've been born with a "Broken Picker" when it comes to choosing a man you can trust, love and respect?
No matter how long you've had a pattern of hooking up with Mr Wrong instead of Mr Right, you can start creating a better outcome, starting tonight!
Get instant access today to the powerful new step-by-step e-course by my good friend, life mastery consultant Evelyn Brooks called "Attract the Guy You WANT!" This 90-day intensive downloadable program has 10 hours of audio coaching lessons, a 50-page workbook and valuable bonuses. The course will show you how to:
• get untangled from the unhealthy relationship you may be in today
• replace your old broken picker with a healthy new "good-man picker"
• change your self-image from people-pleaser (or doormat) into a happy, strong magnet for Good Lovin'
• design and define the relationship you want to attract into your life
Stop making excuses for the guy who leaves you cold. And stop repeating your old history of settling for far less than the joyous juicy romance and lasting love that you dream of experiencing.
Everything that you want can be yours, but you have to take an action and step in the direction of your dream. Why not start a new year off right with the chance to attract the love of your life?
Go now to http://www.evelynbrooks.com/cmd.php?af=1504468
to your happiness ^_^
The topic is your love life, and let me get right to the point because I know this issue is vitally important to you.
Have you become resigned to a flat, empty life without True Love? Do you feel stuck with your history of bad relationships and worry that you'll never be able to change your results?
Does it seem that you must've been born with a "Broken Picker" when it comes to choosing a man you can trust, love and respect?
No matter how long you've had a pattern of hooking up with Mr Wrong instead of Mr Right, you can start creating a better outcome, starting tonight!
Get instant access today to the powerful new step-by-step e-course by my good friend, life mastery consultant Evelyn Brooks called "Attract the Guy You WANT!" This 90-day intensive downloadable program has 10 hours of audio coaching lessons, a 50-page workbook and valuable bonuses. The course will show you how to:
• get untangled from the unhealthy relationship you may be in today
• replace your old broken picker with a healthy new "good-man picker"
• change your self-image from people-pleaser (or doormat) into a happy, strong magnet for Good Lovin'
• design and define the relationship you want to attract into your life
Stop making excuses for the guy who leaves you cold. And stop repeating your old history of settling for far less than the joyous juicy romance and lasting love that you dream of experiencing.
Everything that you want can be yours, but you have to take an action and step in the direction of your dream. Why not start a new year off right with the chance to attract the love of your life?
Go now to http://www.evelynbrooks.com/cmd.php?af=1504468
to your happiness ^_^
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Abundant Universe
When I returned to Arizona for the holiday weekend I met with family and old friends. Some of them were in down spirits, they were frustrated financially and needed to vent it out. I've never claimed to be the knower of all things, but I do know our interpretation of our circumstances determines how we feel. The greatest example I've heard of this was from Mary Morrissey. She was telling the story of two couples who each had houses that were destroyed by a wild fire that went through the same neighborhood. The first couple were sobbing, saying they had lost everything and didn't know what to do. The second couple although a little sad, simply stated that they could rebuild, that it was simply stuff they had lost, and that they were happy no member of the family had been injured or died.
When I was resting in my room at my parents' home, I just opened one of my books I had with me at random, How to Attract Money by Dr Joseph Murphy, and the page I came upon was quite remarkable, for there was a paragraph that really spoke to the situation. I share it with you here:
Knowledge of the spiritual power is the means to the Royal Road to Riches of all kinds, whether your desire is spiritual, mental, or material. The student of the laws of mind, or the student of the spiritual principle, believes and knows absolutely that regardless of the economic situation, stock market fluctuation, depression, strikes, war, or other conditions and circumstances, he will always be amply supplied regardless of what form money may take. The reason for this is he abides in the consciousness of wealth. The student has convinced himself in his mind that wealth is forever flowing freely in his life and there is always a Divine surplus. Should there be a war tomorrow and all the student's present holdings become valueless, as the German marks did after the First World War, he would still attract wealth and be cared for, regardless of the form the new currency took.
In other words, don't let conditions or circumstances be your guide. We all started in a state of abundance. A baby knows it will be cared for. It doesn't know if there isn't enough, it knows if it cries, ie make the call with faith, someone will come help it. Likewise, hold on to your innocence and cast off negative judgments. The person who believes in an abundant universe, making that call for help with complete faith, will always be provided for. Things work out, trust me, you just have to believe it will all be good.
When I was resting in my room at my parents' home, I just opened one of my books I had with me at random, How to Attract Money by Dr Joseph Murphy, and the page I came upon was quite remarkable, for there was a paragraph that really spoke to the situation. I share it with you here:
Knowledge of the spiritual power is the means to the Royal Road to Riches of all kinds, whether your desire is spiritual, mental, or material. The student of the laws of mind, or the student of the spiritual principle, believes and knows absolutely that regardless of the economic situation, stock market fluctuation, depression, strikes, war, or other conditions and circumstances, he will always be amply supplied regardless of what form money may take. The reason for this is he abides in the consciousness of wealth. The student has convinced himself in his mind that wealth is forever flowing freely in his life and there is always a Divine surplus. Should there be a war tomorrow and all the student's present holdings become valueless, as the German marks did after the First World War, he would still attract wealth and be cared for, regardless of the form the new currency took.
In other words, don't let conditions or circumstances be your guide. We all started in a state of abundance. A baby knows it will be cared for. It doesn't know if there isn't enough, it knows if it cries, ie make the call with faith, someone will come help it. Likewise, hold on to your innocence and cast off negative judgments. The person who believes in an abundant universe, making that call for help with complete faith, will always be provided for. Things work out, trust me, you just have to believe it will all be good.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Shout-out to the Lonely Lyrics
By popular demand, here are the lyrics to my new song, "Shout-out to the Lonely."
Verse1
This club is so mindless (mindless)
But the melody brings me back here
They're lined up and waiting (waiting)
Dirty bug's crawling up my thigh
Pre Chorus
So heavy, thoughts are plenty
Sweet candy gracing my lips
My wasted but I'll never stop igniting from the circumstance
Chorus
Love is a drug, it's never enough
Shout-out to the Lonely
And my soul-mate is so far away
Shout-out to the Lonely
Heal me, reveal me, as someone, who's always wanting
But they'll shut me down, and then turn around
Shout-out to the Lonely
Verse 2
Your eyes are enticing (-ticing)
Inviting me through your doorway
Shut down and rejected (-jected)
In my pants like a 1, 2, 3, 4!
c.2012 Joel Evan Publishing
buy it here: itunes download ^_^
Verse1
This club is so mindless (mindless)
But the melody brings me back here
They're lined up and waiting (waiting)
Dirty bug's crawling up my thigh
Pre Chorus
So heavy, thoughts are plenty
Sweet candy gracing my lips
My wasted but I'll never stop igniting from the circumstance
Chorus
Love is a drug, it's never enough
Shout-out to the Lonely
And my soul-mate is so far away
Shout-out to the Lonely
Heal me, reveal me, as someone, who's always wanting
But they'll shut me down, and then turn around
Shout-out to the Lonely
Verse 2
Your eyes are enticing (-ticing)
Inviting me through your doorway
Shut down and rejected (-jected)
In my pants like a 1, 2, 3, 4!
c.2012 Joel Evan Publishing
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